I would paraphrase that to meet the needs of most people today: First, watch no cable news.
And here are some other random bits of advice for making life a bit more fun. I admit I got them off the internet, but isn't that what a net is for?
- On the other hand, you have different fingers.
- 54.3 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
- 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name. [Tom, of course, is in the 1%.]
- I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
- Honk if you love peace and quiet.
- Remember, half the people you know are below average.
- Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
- The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
- A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
- Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow. [I actually got this one in a fortune cookie.]
- Always try to be modest, and be proud of it! [Or as a classmate at Michigan State used to say, "It makes me proud and just a little bit humble."]
- If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
- If the speed of light is 187,000 miles per second, what's the speed of dark?
- Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
- Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film in the camera.
- I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
- Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
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