Like me

One of the life-changing books I read as a teenager was John Howard Griffin's Black Like Me. I am grateful that years later I met the author when he was staying at our monastery for a conference and was able to thank him for helping open up my world, not only in terms of the race issue but in terms of any [perceived] difference between myself and other people.

Recently I was reading an article about accepting other people, and one line jumped out at me in a disturbing way. It went something like this: When someone offends me, I should say to myself, "This is a sick person. How can I help him/her?"

What bothered me about my reading of that -- by putting it that way, I want to emphasize that I am not saying the original author meant it the way I took it -- was that it sounded so self-righteous. If I said that to myself, I would be thinking I am better than the other person and be looking for ways to "fix" them from my superior and enlightened place.

A wiser person told me that what I need to do is say something like: "This is a sick person ... just like me. How can I help?"

Then I do not place myself above but alongside the other, and I seek to help from a position of equality which does not exalt me or insult the other.

Just like me. Haters ... just like me. Intolerant ... just like me. Suffering ... just like me. In need of help ... just like me. Ignorant ... just like me. Fearful ... just like me. Hoping for a better life ... just like me.

John Howard Griffin came across to me during the days I was with him as a gentle, generous and kind person, very low-key. I would be grateful to become at least a little bit more ... just like him.