May you be happy ...

Yesterday I got involved in a conversation at the library, and I made a firm statement blaming someone [a social and political figure, hereafter designated X] for a certain situation. The person I was talking to looked puzzled, and questioned me about what I meant. I explained that I had read a couple of articles, blah blah blah. She quietly pointed out that I was wrong, that I had misunderstood the articles. And she ended by saying, "I wish I could blame X for that, but in this case, it has nothing to do with anything X has or has not done."

She is someone I respect and someone I trust. She is also someone who is usually on the same side I am on in regard to such issues. I realized she was absolutely right, that I had jumped to a rash conclusion and needed to get myself right.

I thanked her, but I silently wrestled with my embarrassment for a while. Finally I decided to try this.

Many times a day, I say a short prayer/mantra/meditation/call-it-what-you-will: "May all beings be happy. May all beings be one. May all beings be free." It is a way of calling down a benediction upon all creation and a reminder to myself to try to behave in a way that contributes to happiness, unity and freedom for everyone and everything. I decided that I would recite my prayer, adding to each line, "especially X." So many times over the course of the day, I said, "May all beings be happy, especially X. May all beings be one, especially X. May all beings be free, especially X."

At first this was a challenge. For one thing, I did not want X to be happy! And I wanted X to feel united with everyone in a particular way to suit my own preferences. I wanted X to be free to do what I wanted X to do. I had to struggle to just say the prayer without limitations: May all beings be happy, especially X. May all beings be one, especially X. May all beings be free, especially X.

I said it while driving home. I said it when I sat down, I said it when I tried to take a nap, I said it when I was riding the exercycle, I said it when I lay down to sleep.

By the middle of the afternoon, I discovered that at every "especially X", I was smiling slightly. By the end of the day, I was smiling more. Something had changed. Me. I don't know if X was any happier yesterday or felt any more at one with the universe or any freer. But I was happier, I was more at one -- especially with X! -- and more free.

Prayer, they say, changes us, not God. Sometimes it changes me, not X. Which is a good thing for both of us.

May you be happy!
May you be one!
May you be free!

And especially, you, X.