The Wonderful Wacky World of Marketing

Today while flipping through the channel guide, I saw there was an infomercial for a product that claims to give you free local and long distance dialing for $19.95 a year. So my question is, what does free mean if you have to pay $19.95 a year?

The best marketing bizarro story of the week, though, was one I saw in a consumer column for travelers. It seems this woman had made a reservation at a Florida hotel (motel, resort, whatever) and when she checked in, there was an unanticipated $50 surcharge. It was for booking a "short stay." So basically, they were charging her for not using their facilities. Apparently they do this all the time, although in this case the consumer advocate was able to get he money back for her. So if you think $19.95 is ridiculous for something that is advertised as free, how would you describe charging someone $50 for nothing at all? Will they just start mass mailing to non-customers, enclosing a bill for $50 and then setting the collection agency on them for not paying? (Read your mail carefully!)

This hotel thing, of course, was just poor marketing. If they had advertised openly that they give people who stay longer a break on the price, that would seem okay -- a reward for people who help them stay booked solid. It was passing it off as a surcharge (and an apparently unadvertised one!) for a short stay that makes it look absurd.

At the shop, we have a Thomas the Tank Engine Train Table for the kids to play with. Many people ask about buying them, and although we don't stock them, we do have information for those who want to get one. I learned from someone who had ordered one, however, to warn people that what the catalogs call a train table not only does not have any of the set-up (tracks, bridges, etc.) but it sometimes does not even have a top. If you order the train table, all you get may be the base and the top frame -- which will be empty. So what they are calling a train table has no table top -- which would seem to me to be part of the definition of a table.

So choose wisely, folks. Read the labels, and don't assume ANYTHING.

PS -- The very term infomercial is an excellent example of marketing. While we complain about fifteen-second advertisements, we sit through half hour infomercials as if they were entertainment. Now I will grant you, the plot and production values may be better than lots of other things on television ...