Thursday, December 10, 2015

Give us this day

The president of Turkeys Unlimited was included in a papal audience in Philadelphia in September, and he took the opportunity of making a business proposition to Pope Francis: that if His Holiness would arrange for the Lord's Prayer to be changed from "Give us this day our daily bread" to "Give us this day our daily turkey" throughout the whole of Advent and Christmas, Turkeys Unlimited would give $20 million to Catholic charities. The Pope thought it was a joke and laughed, but upon being assured that it was a serious offer, declined.

Two weeks later the man called Cardinal Timothy Dolan of New York and asked that the cardinal inform the pope that the offer had been upped to $50 million. Cardinal Dolan promised to do what he could, but once again it was turned down. The cardinal was gently admonished not to get involved in such things. 

A few weeks before the beginning of Advent the man somehow wrangled his way into an audience with Pope Francis at the Vatican itself. This time he made an astonishing offer of $100 million in cash if the change would be made for the Advent season in the English-speaking world only. 

Pope Francis considered all the good works that could be done with such a large amount of money and decided to go ahead. 

The next day His Holiness called a special meeting of the Cardinals to let them know about the situation. 
"Well" said the Pope, "I have good news and bad news. The good news is that we are to receive $100 million. The bad news is that we have lost the Wonderloaf account."


Bob Slatten said...

In this day when money rules, this almost sounds like it could happen.

Michael Dodd said...

Mitchell is moving left this comment and somehow I deleted it by mistake:
Sadly, the basic premise was completely believable!