Parables of Yeshua ben Yosef

Many have undertaken to compile a collection of sayings by the late Yeshua ben Yosef, precisely as those sayings have been repeated to us by hearers of the word. I too have carefully traced the sayings down, and have decided to set in writing for you, O Theophoboumenos, those that seem to have been omitted by others so that Your Beatitude may see how incomplete the instruction was that you received.

Yeshua said,

A king gave a feast to celebrate the wedding of his son. He sent invitations to all the powerful and wealthy people of his kingdom, but when the time came for the feast, they all sent excuses. One said, “I have to lead a protest outside a Planned Parenthood Office and cannot come. Pray, hold me excused.”

Another said, “I have joined a Family Defense League and cannot come. Please excuse me.”

Yet a third said, “I am organizing a letter-writing campaign to the FCC to protest the Disney Channel’s surrender to the gay agenda by including the lyrics 'We’re All in This Together' in that high school musical movie, the one with all those boys dancing. I cannot come.”

When the servants returned with these messages the king was sorely grieved, and he looked with sorrow at his son whose wedding feast would be without guests.

But, lo, his son said unto him, “Do not be sad, Royal Father, for your kingdom is surely larger than just the powerful and the wealthy. Let us invite the people who love you and who will put your feast ahead of their own plans.”

This met with the king’s approval, and he sent messengers throughout the land to invite all who would to come to the feast. They went into bars and libraries, into discount outlets and Laundromats, into coffee shops and burger joints, inviting all who could to come to the feast.

All the people heard the invitation, and some said, “I had planned to go out dancing that night, but who could refuse an invitation from a king as good ours? Of course, I will come and maybe I will even dance.”

Others said, “I was going to visit my aged parents that night, but perhaps they would like to come, too, if I give them a ride. We will be happy to come.”

Yet others said, “My friends and I had intended to go on a pub crawl in Boys Town, but we will be happy to party with a king. We will come.”

When the doors were opened to the banquet hall, the poor, the unwanted, the disabled, the confused, the alcoholic, the addicts, the computer nerds and the old were all there. And the waiters began to seat them.

But the head waiter was afraid there would not be enough room or enough food. And he thought that this might embarrass the king and his son, so he began to look nervously at the crowd at the door. Finally making up his mind, he instructed the waiters at the door to separate those who were arriving and to only allow the best looking, the more prosperous and the better dressed into the feast.

The waiters said, “But the king has invited all of these people. Will he not be angry if we refuse to admit them?”

And the head waiter said, “The king is a good and kindly man, but we know what is best. It makes him feel good to invite this large crowd, but then he doesn’t think about how hard it will be to serve them all, how much mess there will be to clean up and that some of them really have no idea how to behave properly and will ruin everything for the rest of us. We are just saving him the trouble by taking this burden on ourselves.”

And he insisted that the waiters separate out the crowd.

As the feast continued, the king wandered among his guests, talking with them and beaming that they had come to honor his son.

“How good my people are,” he pointed out to his son. “See how many have come to your feast?”

“They are truly a happy people whose king you are, Royal Father,” the son replied. “But what about those who are not here?”

“Oh,” his father brushed those aside. ”They all had legitimate excuses. They are going about doing good.”

“I don’t mean those,” his son said, “I mean those who are hanging about outside the palace.”

The king looked out the window and saw that there was a crowd outside. They were old, they were oddly dressed, they leaned on crutches and walkers. Some of the men had glitter in their hair and some of the women wore flannel shirts. Many were speaking strange languages and others were staring off at nothing.

“But who are these people?” he asked his son.

“They are your people, too” the son answered.

“Why were they not invited?” the king demanded.

“They were,” his son told him, “but they were not allowed in. Your waiters thought they would be too much trouble and that you would not really want them. So to save you from embarrassment and discomfort, they screened them out.”

”All are welcome,” said his father. “All are WELCOME!” he roared.

And he went and opened the doors himself and led the crowds inside. And when the head waiter looked aghast, the father went and seated him at a table and brought him food and drink.

“For no one,” he said to his son, “shall be excluded – not even those who would exclude others.”