Amen, amen, I say unto you...

On the way back from the funeral, we were talking about the minister's sermon.

I said that the family would like it, that they would forget any little slips and remember that he had said nice things about Mr. Wegert.

I also told Tom about an experience with the nuns in Barrington. I gave them two retreats -- which meant two half hour conferences a day for eight days each time, plus a short homily at Mass every day. I also preached a short homily every day for the nine months I was staying there while on my sabbatical back in 1993-1994. They had also invited me to preach two novenas for Our Lady of Mount Carmel -- which meant I had preached 18 longer sermons on the Virgin Mary -- and let's be honest, how much can you say? In addition, they had had me preach or give lectures for a number of special events over the years.

So when they invited me to give the novena yet again a few years ago, I told them all of the above and said, "You've already heard everything I have to say."

Sr. Mary Margaret looked at me pityingly. "Oh, Michael! You thought we were listening."

So much for self-esteem!

I told Tom that most people seemed to like my homilies. For one thing, they were generally short. And the other was that I have a sort of pleasant, calming voice. I was just a relaxing drone in the background while they daydreamed.