[UPDATE: Tom told me I should put in an asterisk so as not to offend Mama, so this is now the revised version.]
Okay, the rest of this is Tom's:
I have a friend, now in his 80's, who once named his cats "D*mn Cat" and "Other D*mn Cat". I was in college at the time, and thought that was funny, even if I didn't quite get the joke.
I've since learned.
Michael and I have two cats named Sundance and Cassidy, aka "Skinny Cat" and "Fat *ss Cat". I raised them both since they were kittens. As cats go, they are fine cats -- affectionate, friendly, and reasonably energetic, given their age.
The cats are sisters and neither has known a day when the other wasn't underfoot. Neither, unfortunately, have Michael and I since we got the cats.
The cats spending their time sleeping, mostly, as all cats seem to do. In the summer, they go outside when they are awake during the day, skulking around and hunting mice, birds and small snakes.
The winter is another story. The cats spend most of their time indoors, and they get bored.
The cats play three games indoors.Inside, Outside
The first is "inside, outside". The rules of this game are: (a) wait until the humans are sitting down, reading or watching television; (b) if you are inside, sit by the patio door and demand to go out; (c) if you are outside, sit by the patio door and demand to come in.Pounce
The second is "pounce". The rules of this game are: (a) wait until the other cat is doing something peaceful; (b) pounce on her.Immobilize
The third is "immobilize". The rules of this game are: (a) find Michael and/or Tom sitting on the sofa; (b) sprawl all over him so he can't move; (c) magically increase your weight by a factor of five to make sure he knows you are there.
The three games are supplemented by other wonderful cat games, like "stick your behind in the guest's face", "lay on the book so he can't read", "decide it is time to get everyone up at five in the morning", and a host of variations.
I get it now. "Cassidy" and "Sundance" are just monikers. Their real names are "D*mn Cat" and "Other D*mn Cat".
2 comments:
That was so cute! It should be turned into a Fwd. My favorite part is: "stick your behind in the guest's face".
I died.
We have 3 and they each like to torment us in similar manners in regards to guests.
Asterix- Makes guests feel uncomfortable by attacking for no good reason and/or staring at the guest like they are grim death.
Kapri- Expose her private regions to them like she's on a video of Girls Gone Wild
Sophie- Become obsessed with the guest and leave them no room to breathe.
We've literally had people allergic to cats say they have to leave because our cats are so in your face.
We let the guests leave. These cats live here, not them.
I have read that cats often stare at or otherwise pester people who don't like cats precisely because those people look away from the cat. The way to "dominate" a cat -- yeah, like THAT ever happens! -- is to stare at the cat until it looks away. If you keep looking away yourself, the cat takes that to mean you are not a threat and so bothers you even more.
Of course, the real truth is that cats are cats and do whatever they please.
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