I had breakfast with a friend this morning and talk turned to kindness. I am often struck by how much better kind people make me feel, how much safer they make the world feel, and how they make being kind seem such a simple thing.
Yet I know how easy it is for me to be unkind, to make unkind remarks to or about people or groups. Even when I control my tongue, I find myself harboring very unkind thoughts, thinking things I would never dare say out loud but ...
I need to remind myself from time to time to be kind. As Fr. Gerard Taylor, of blessed memory, used to say, "Be kind. If you can't be kind, be kind anyway. If you can't be kind anyway, then just be kind."
The Dalai Lama says, "Whenever possible, be kind. It is always possible." And in his suggestions for how to begin the day, he includes the intention: "I am going to have kind thoughts towards others." Note -- not "I will omit being unkind or I will have kind words towards others." I am going to have kind thoughts towards others.
When I have kind thoughts towards people, my words and actions are kind.
Sometimes I wish that God had made that one of the 10 Commandments, or that Jesus had said it explicitly. They probably didn't think it necessary. Maybe people who speak in the name of God or Jesus would make more of a difference in the world if they were perceived as a bit kinder.
4 comments:
I love this post! And the quote: "Be kind. If you can't be kind, be kind anyway. If you can't be kind anyway, then just be kind."
I do try.
I had a first-cousin-once-removed-in-law (really) whom I adored. He died a couple of years ago at the age of 89. He was a retired professor and author -- renowned and respected. He was once asked how he wanted to be remembered. His response: "I hope people will say, 'He was kind.' "
It made me love him even more.
being kind (sometimes) is a hard job
I find it hard to be kind sometimes, too. Since I am generally a "nice" person, it bothers me when I find myself having to struggle to be kind. I do notice that it helps if I do my morning compassion meditation faithfully.
My goal today.
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