Lest I give the false impression that I am all sweetness and light ... (As if!)

I was commenting on a friend's blog recently about holiday stress. When I reviewed what I had written prior to posting it, I saw that at one point I had written "Christmad Dinner."

Christmad!

I don't know how often I get Christmad during the holidays, although I confess that I have been known to do so. Even, sad to say, publicly at the feast day table. Too much food, too much alcohol (happily, no longer an issue!), too much company, too much noise, too high expectations, too little sleep -- it is no wonder that we sometimes get upset.

There is a wonderful passage in Agatha Christie's Hercule Poirot's Christmas -- AKA Murder for Christmas -- in which Poirot's host waxes sentimental about Christmas and the season of good cheer and the unlikelihood of a murder during Poirot's visit. (Obviously this was not to turn out to be the case, else Dame Agatha would have had no book to write!) Poirot counters that this is a season when people who often don't see one another much are crowded together, overfed and over-beveraged, fighting heartburn and boredom, disappointed in the gifts they received as well as the lack of excitement that others show for the gifts they gave, trying very hard to be nice and polite, carrying around lots of painful memories, expecting everyone to be much happier than people ever manage to be, and thus under more stress than at other times of the year.

Fortunately most of us do not resort to physical violence on the holidays.

On the other hand, I have a fond feeling for my accidental (or Freudian) noun: Christmad.

Like the normal ways of being mad/angry, for me it comes in degrees of intensity.

Christmitation -- that emotional itch created by too many Hallmark Channel movies about people discovering the Christmas spirit that they lost long ago; or by the flood of television specials in which the sitcom star who is raunchy and self-centered the other 51 weeks of the year manages to somehow "save Christmas" and bring tears of joy to the eyes of the little tykes; or how helping the poor is glorified by advertisers who ship jobs overseas and create useless gadgets to tempt children into tormenting their harried parents; or [feel free to insert your personal favorite irritation here.]

Christmoyance -- the frown-inducing recognition that the very stores that are most draped in holiday extravaganza and insist that their employees say "Merry Christmas" and not the suspect "Happy Holidays" are the ones that underpay their overworked employees; that modern Ebenezer Scrooges parade their piety while donating large sums to politicians to keep the minimum wage below water; that the overpaid newspeople who fret about the war on Christmas spend the rest of the year undermining efforts to win the battle on poverty.

Chrisentment -- the ever-burning memory of past holiday hurts and disappointments.
 
Christignation -- the satisfying glow of self-righteousness created by recognizing the hypocrisy of others, undimmed by any self-knowledge regarding one's own failings.

Anyway, happy holidays, whichever ones you celebrate and however you do it! Let's be safe out there!

PS -- May all these people be well. May all these people be happy. May all these people be free from suffering. Ho, ho, ho hum.