Mulligans

"In golf, a mulligan, most simply put, is a "do-over." Hit a bad shot? Take a mulligan and replay that stroke.

A mulligan is never "legal" under the Rules of Golf. Mulligans are most often employed during friendly rounds by golf buddies; or during charity or playday tournaments where mulligans are sometimes sold. If mulligans are for sale, that means the golfer can buy, say, three mulligans for a set price each. The sale of mulligans is sometimes used as an additional fund-raiser at charitable events."
~ Source: What is a mulligan in golf? 

Another blogger asked recently, "If you were granted one 'do over' in your life, what would it be?" 

My response was, 

My first reaction is, "Only one?"

I suppose if I had one do-over, it would be to become the sort of person who goes with his gut and not with his fears. Had I done this at many points along the way, my life would have been different. Not necessarily better, perhaps much worse. My life has been, all in all, pretty good. But it would have been nice to have experienced it with less fear and fewer missed opportunities. 

Not surprisingly, given the nature of that blog, many/most of those who commented said they would have come out sooner. 

I also noted that people tended to wish they had done something they did not do (whether that was coming out of the closet or not) rather than undo something they had done. Of course, in many cases, that meant making a different choice, so that one would do one thing and undo another at the same time. 

As I looked back over my life, it was hard to pick one thing to do differently, because the turn taken at each potential fork in the road would have led to other forks later on. What if I had chosen to go to the University of Texas instead of Michigan State? Odds are I would not have become Catholic, and then not gone into the monastery and on to the priesthood. Or what if I had not changed my major from Spanish and continued on an academic path? Again, not likely to have wound up a friar but would be a retired professor in some small college town in the Midwest. Or later, what if I had chosen to drop all my ministries for two years in order to complete my doctoral dissertation? Had I done that, the odds are that I would now be in Nairobi where my friend Steve wound up, serving as head of a college and wearing myself out trying to guide the transition to university status. 

What if I had chosen to leave the monastery prior to solemn profession at the age of 28 and been open to a relationship at that time? What if I had never taken that first drink? What if I had ...

Too many what if's, but today I have been gently pondering the real decision points and the ones that could have been. In writing something about this to Lee yesterday, I sent this quote from Abraham Lincoln:

I don't really have any regrets because if I choose not to do something there is usually a very good reason. Once I've made the decision I don't view it as a missed opportunity, just a different path.

I am totally not that mature.