Winning, losing, winners and losers

A friend mentioned last night that he had been to see a performance of Eric Simonson's Broadway play "Lombardi" at a local Dells theater. This led to a discussion about Lombardi's trademark quote: "Winning isn't everything, it's the only thing."

People had various takes on it, some as amateur athletes, others as a questionable life principle when applied outside the context of professional sports. But one of the guys, reflecting on a long career playing softball as an adult, mentioned that he had learned to think of winning and losing in terms of games, not in terms of who he is. 

"We lost this game. They played better than we did today. We won this game. We played well today. I played well today. I did not play well today."

But never, "I'm a winner! I'm a loser! They are all losers!"

This touches on my Am I the only one? question.

I think if I could see people's behaviors as good or bad or better or worse but somehow not make the jump to seeing the people as good or bad or better or worse, that would be progress toward universal compassion for me.

My early morning routine includes reciting a reflection recommended by the Dalai Lama. This is part of that reflection, an intention for the coming day: 

I am going to have kind thoughts towards others, I am not going to get angry or think badly about others, I am going to benefit others as much as I can.

This does not have to mean I am blind to the things that are wrong in the world or the things that we do to make things wrong. But it does mean I can learn to distinguish between actors and act, even when the actor is me. 

BTW, I tried holding this attitude in mind when dealing with a difficult issue today and it worked well. Not only was I polite to the person handling the problem, but I did not even feel angry at her. I was not repressing or suppressing emotions. I am not happy about the problem, but I was not unhappy with her. She was actually pleasant and helpful, although I am reasonably sure she can do little to produce the solution I want.

But I did not make her day worse by being rude. And that means I did not contribute to her feeling bad and passing her pain along to the next person she talked to on the phone.

Baby steps, Michael. Baby steps.