Terrible twos

There are two kinds of people in the world: those who divide the world into two kinds of people and those who don't.

There are two things I don't like: the way things are and change.

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity. And we're not so sure about the universe.

There are two tragedies in life: not getting what one wants and getting it.

To confuse things even more, the scriptural fundamentalists must resolve this conundrum from Psalm 62:

One thing God has spoken,
two things have I heard:

that you, O God, are strong,
and that you, O Lord, are loving.
Surely you will reward each person
according to what he has done.

(Okay, isn't that two things, or maybe three...)