I am dealing -- not all that successfully, I must admit -- with a growing resentment about something personal. Maybe I need to stop shoving the resentment away and instead listen to it in order to learn.
I always feel that if you tamp something down, shove it aside, it'll come back in some other form that you'll have to deal with, and then you'll still have to deal with the original 'something.'
I think you're right, Bob. As I sit with this particular resentment, for example, I am discovering layers of other resentments (and the problems they revealed) that I ignored and that must be faced in some constructive manner. Had I dealt with some of those in a more timely way, I might not have the present thing staring me in the face.
Pema would agree. She'd call your situation a moment of groundlessness, one in which she'd encourage you to sit and allow yourself to experience the situation in its totality without judgement. "Be gentle and kind with yourself," she'd say. It's more easily said and read about than done; but Pema doesn't leave you hanging on it. She offers comforting advice in any of her books. Personally, I reach for "Comfortable with Uncertainty" when in a bind. I find much comfort in its pages. Best of luck.
Resentment can really eat away at an individual. What helps me to move on from these types of emotions that have the potential of making me bitter and twisted is to journal. Writing down and verbalising those thoughts helps me to understand them and to work on strategies to move on from them. When I don't have an opportunity to journal I find it so much harder to understand my thoughts. Describing them, strategising, ands learning from them helps to empower me and give me hope. Be kind to yourself. I hope you ar okay. Kato
5 comments:
I always feel that if you tamp something down, shove it aside, it'll come back in some other form that you'll have to deal with, and then you'll still have to deal with the original 'something.'
I think you're right, Bob. As I sit with this particular resentment, for example, I am discovering layers of other resentments (and the problems they revealed) that I ignored and that must be faced in some constructive manner. Had I dealt with some of those in a more timely way, I might not have the present thing staring me in the face.
Pema would agree. She'd call your situation a moment of groundlessness, one in which she'd encourage you to sit and allow yourself to experience the situation in its totality without judgement. "Be gentle and kind with yourself," she'd say. It's more easily said and read about than done; but Pema doesn't leave you hanging on it. She offers comforting advice in any of her books. Personally, I reach for "Comfortable with Uncertainty" when in a bind. I find much comfort in its pages. Best of luck.
I enjoy Pema's books, especially audio versions. I have found them helpful, too.
Resentment can really eat away at an individual. What helps me to move on from these types of emotions that have the potential of making me bitter and twisted is to journal. Writing down and verbalising those thoughts helps me to understand them and to work on strategies to move on from them. When I don't have an opportunity to journal I find it so much harder to understand my thoughts. Describing them, strategising, ands learning from them helps to empower me and give me hope.
Be kind to yourself. I hope you ar okay.
Kato
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